Mi ultima semana

Next week will be my last week in Lima and working at the Casa Hogares Los Delfines. What can I say? It has been a really great learning experience. While I can't say that I understand poverty now, because I never really will understand it until I have lived it, and unfortunately, the hypocrite in me is unwilling to give up my comfortable lifestyle to live in poverty.

Working with these children has given me a whole new level of patience. While I have worked with kids in many different positions, this set of kids are very different. You can really tell that many of them have behavioral and social problems, yet being untrained in psychology I am not able to recognize them.

Of course I often get very impatient and frustrated with the kids, and sometimes in my head I am silently cursing them. But then, something happens when I am doing something like just playing cards with them, or when I see them first thing in the morning and last thing during the afternoon and they give me a kiss good morning and good bye, or when I'm looking through photos of them. It sounds so corny, but my heart just swells and a rush of emotions and memories come flooding back to me. You would think that 3 months isn't enough time to get attached, but it is more than enough. While I am happy to be finished work, start traveling Bolivia and return to Canada, I am also feeling melancholy because even though the work can be quite frustrating, in part of not having much to do, I have grown to care so much for every one of those kids and it's difficult for me because I know that the chances are that I'll never see them again. I don't see myself returning to Peru anytime soon, in part because I have to graduate and in the future, if I do more international volunteering (which I probably will), I want to experience more and see more, so I probably will not go back to volunteer in Peru.

This country is beautiful and so diverse, just like every one of the boys that I work with. It is hard for me to stay mad at any of the boys when one minute they might be bothering me on purpose to get a reaction, and the next minute they are giving me a picture that they drew for me. It breaks my heart the histories and the conditions that these boys live in. Of course I don't mean the conditions of the casa hogares, because the conditions, while not up to North American standards (though I can't be too sure of this, I don't know how group homes in Canada are) are fine, but I mean the conditions in that many of unable to see their family, or no longer have family, etc. This position has certainly solidified my desire to work in social planning in the future, I want to be able to make a change in somebody's life for the better. While urban design is very interesting to me, there are inherent social issues embedded in the world of private and corporate urban design that I cannot come to terms with. Perhaps in the future I will find a socially conscious urban design company to work for, perhaps not. Either way, I am sure that I will know what decision to make when the time comes.

Perhaps this internship hasn't been the best, nor has it been the worst, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Yes of course, many times at work I get bored because the boys are at school, or are otherwise occupied with chores or homework and there isn't much for the volunteer to do. But at the same time, getting to know these boys, their stories and becoming their friend is an experience that is a reward itself. Though it's hard to see that sometimes, when you take a step back and really take a look, it becomes clear. Perhaps I haven't been able to make a big impact on these boys alone, with my short time here, but they have made a very big impact on me. And I hope to take these effects with me back home, and forever keep them in my mind when I am out in the work (or volunteer) force in the future. Every little thing I do to help make the world a better place (I know, I sound so corny and lame right now), I will think of these boys because it is people like them that I am doing things for.

Apart from that, I am also very glad to be (almost) finished the internship and (almost) returning to Canada. I miss my friends dearly, my family...well, my sister arrives in Lima tonight and living in Ontario I don' really get to see my parents that often anyway. I miss cooking my own food and trying out new recipes, or doing things like baking cookies at 1am in the morning. I miss my bike and riding it everywhere, even if it gives me swass (sweaty ass) and god awful calluses on my hands, I just love biking everywhere. Of course I also miss my collection of clothing, shoes, bags, accessories etc, having come here with just a backpack (albeit a large one)...yes I realize how girly and also spoiled I sound. I also miss school...oddly enough, the late hours in the studio making models until my fingers hurt and I want to stab myself with the narrow pointy end of my set square, or otherwise furiously pounding out papers in the wee hours of the morning, and printing and handing them in juuustt before they are due. I miss the weather even, oddly enough - the weather here in Lima is always beautiful, but there is something really nice about a chilly autumn day and bundling up in scarves, mitts and carrying a cup of hot coffee. Speaking of hot coffee, I also miss my god awful Tim Hortons large-double-double "coffee". I don't care if it doesn't really qualify for real coffee, I love it hahaha!

I also miss my house in Waterloo...though I haven't lived there for very long (barely 4 months) I feel so at home there. I even miss Waterloo, which is so strange for me to say now considering how much I hated the city when I first moved there. Of course I miss Toronto, it's a big city as well, like Lima, but it's different in a way that I can't say if I prefer it more or not, I like both cities.

In all, there are lots of things I miss about Canada. But I am sure that when I get back to Canada, I will be able to think of a plethora of things that I miss about Lima and Peru in general. That being said, it's 10:08 and I am extremely sleepy, I think I will sneak in a quick nap before heading out to the airport to get my sister.


Talk to you later dear readers!

Saludos,
Renee