List continued - Cosas de Lima

Things I will miss:

The buses. In all of their chaotic glory - they make public transportation fun! I love the music that they play in the buses, and I love how personalized each bus is! Little hanging stuffed dolls on the windows, tinsel, entire framed photos of Jesus (sometimes with lights that light up when the driver brakes). And of course the cobradors (who control the door and take fare) who speak like auctioneers and who hang halfway out the doors while the bus is driving and who jump out running while the bus is moving, and run back on while the bus drives away from them.

Things I will not miss:

How slow people walk here! My god! I know that the pace of life here is slower but I can't get used to the pace of walking here. On top of that I have also developed the Toronto speed walking habit so I get all the more frustrated with pedestrians here.


In other news, I was given the chance to read the histories in the boys files today. I am really glad to have been given the chance to read them. It was heartbreaking and I am glad that I didn't get the opportunity to read them until now because I have gotten to know the boys so well and I am afraid that had I known their histories beforehand, maybe I would have let it affect my judgment of them.

I couldn't help but get a little emotional with a lot of the histories and now, I am more than ever convinced that social planning is what I want to do. When I look at the boys though, or think about them - it's still so hard for me to think about all that they have been through. Sometimes I think children as so resilient, they can go through so much and not let it affect them. Well, at least it doesn't appear to affect them outwardly, though of course it must affect them, to what degree though I do not know.

The level of poverty here is extreme. It's still really hard for me to relate to the kids though, I have never lived such poverty or have gone through such things and when I think about the lives they have led, I cannot help but think how amazing these little people are. Then, I get really saddened when I think about how many other children and youth are out there that need help. Not a day goes by where I do not see children selling little candies (carmelos they are called here), bottled beverages, ice cream, juggling or playing music and singing. They do this on the buses, on the streets, and most shocking to me - in between cars in heavy traffic. I am always worried about the lives of the children because of the way that people drive here!

It's really heartbreaking but I can't help but feel like a hypocrite. I am worried that when I leave, I will forget about my experiences here and forget about the children I saw weaving in between cars selling carmelos; knowing the histories of the boys and how their histories are probably so widespread. The boys in the house make up about 12 (it depends all the time as boys come and go all the time. But there are about 7 who have been there for a few years). That is only 12 boys out of how many people, how many children who live in extreme poverty in Lima? I can't help but think whether or not more can be done, and if so how.

When I walk past the children selling candies on the streets, or playing music - I wonder if I could help them more. If I gave them the contact of the CEDRO Casa Hogares, would this work? I really don't know, I don't want to cross the line and overstep my boundary as a volunteer as I don't know what I do and do not have the authority to do.

I guess in the end, I just have to be content with what I am doing at the house. You can't help everybody, but you can try your best and help the some that seek it.


Anyway...I wanted to write more but my eyelids are closing on their own accord and I still need to shower! Nos vemos mi amigos!


Besos,
Renee